Relocating for love or pursuing a long-distance relationship both have their pros and cons, so you need to think long and hard before you make the decision, says relationship therapist and psychologist Erin Burke. “While long-distance relationships can be expensive, limiting and could leave you feeling frustrated, moving for the wrong reasons could leave you bitter, resentful and unhappy.”
Burke recommends asking the following questions before making the decision:
1. How would the move affect your lifestyle?
Consider the cost of living, your job prospects, quality of life, support system and the local culture. Contemplate whether this destination would appeal to you if it weren’t for your partner. If the relationship should fail, is it somewhere you could see yourself building a life?
2. Have you and your partner discussed your future and do you agree on where your lives are headed?
If you’re making the move to benefit him or his career, it could leave you feeling resentful if your plans don’t fall into place. Also consider what type of support system your partner would offer. When you’re in a new place, you often rely on your partner far more which could either strengthen or become a burden on your relationship.
3. What will you living arrangements be?
Even more stressful than moving homes is moving in with your partner. If this is your first time living together, it’s important to discuss the financial and logistical aspects of your living arrangement before you make the move.
4. Do you have a plan B?
Consider what you would do if the relationship doesn’t work or if you’re unhappy in your new home. It’s always advisable to consider your options than to be caught unaware in a place that you hate with no significant other to support you.
5. Decide what’s important to you
Most importantly: is this person worth uprooting my life for? Do you love this person more than your current lifestyle? “The answer to this question is very telling,” says Burke.