Khloe Kardashian’s world was turned upside down this week as news emerged that her hunky NBA star boyfriend and baby daddy-to-be Tristan Thompson has been cheating on her.
It turns out that Thompson is a serial cheat, after a video surfaced of him kissing a woman at a rooftop bar in Manhattan, New York, over the past weekend, while his full-term pregnant girlfriend waited for him at home. On top of this, a second video has surfaced of Thompson getting cosy with two women in October last year.
Don’t let yourself be blindsided – look out for these red flags that indicate your partner could be cheating on you.
Naturally, when someone lies to you, you lose trust. If you’re constantly catching your partner in a lie, they could be hiding something bigger than you think. “Cheaters are mainly people who maintain a double-life and have to lie frequently to cover their tracks,” says author Thandi Vellem, a practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming.
“If he’s lying a lot about his whereabouts, or anything else for that matter, he might be cheating.”
- Your intuition is working overtime
Subtle clues combined with your sixth sense are usually enough to put your guard up. If you’re suddenly doubting his sincerity, you may have good reason to.
Your intuition will tell you if something isn’t right. According to an article in Woman’s Day, there are almost always clues that your partner is cheating, because keeping such a secret such is complicated – mentally, physically and emotionally – and requires adjustments to pull it off. “These adjustments will appear as something different about your partner and they may be subtle. That’s why it’s best to trust your instinct that something’s off,” says Dr Oikle in the article.
- Your partner can’t account for financial transactions
Unaccounted-for credit card bills and receipts could be a sign that you’re being stepped out on. “If you have a joint account and there are funds frequently being used to purchase wining and dining services, gifts and lodging and you are not the recipient of those, then the likelihood of cheating is present,” says Vellem.
Large transfers or cash withdrawals could also be red flags, as most cheaters will try to find untraceable ways to fund the affair.
- Your partner prefers spending time elsewhere
There’s nothing wrong with your significant other spending time with friends or family, but when they call it “working late”, they might not be lying – they could be using work as an excuse to spend time with another person, says Vellem.
- No intimacy, or dutiful intimacy
Whether it’s an increased desire for sex or no intimacy at all, a sudden shift in your sex life could also be a sign of infidelity.
“He could be having his sexual needs met elsewhere, if he’s no longer interested in being intimate at home,” says Vellem.
- They’re distant
Emotional intimacy is just as important because you need to feel connected to your partner. According to Woman’s Day, emotional distance is the number one giveaway, because it’s hard to be emotionally invested in two people at the same time and be emotionally intimate with someone while betraying their trust. “If he isn’t present or becomes distant, even though he’s physically with you, it could be a sign of cheating,” says Dr Oikle.
- What’s the next step?
Vellem stresses that while these indicators may point to unfaithfulness, they could also be signs of something other than infidelity. “These are not cast in stone at all as sure signs of infidelity, but can be indicative of a cheating partner,” she says. Before confronting your partner, make sure you have conclusive evidence.
The decision to stay is up to you – you need to weigh up the pros and cons. If your partner is remorseful and willing to work to gain back your trust, then it’s worth giving your relationship another try. There are some questions to ask yourself if you find yourself having to decide whether to stay or leave:
- Why did your partner cheat on you?
- Do you still love your partner?
- Have they owned up to the infidelity?
- Do you believe you’ll be able to forgive them?
Surviving infidelity requires your partner to be completely open about the details of the affair and both parties being on the same page about being willing to put in the hard work to save their relationship. Honesty, trust and loyalty need to be regained, so some questions may need to be answered to move forward.