Determine your relationship priorities

How to discover what kind of man you’re looking for before you start the soulmate search.

Dating someone new always comes with certain risks. The better you know yourself, the clearer you'll be on what kind of partner you're looking for. Clinical psychologist Claire Strohbach shares ways to establish your relationship priorities.

1. Know yourself
Looking for someone to complete you is usually not a wise strategy. "The better you know yourself, the more intact you are," says Strohbach. "You'll therefore be better equipped to choose a more suitable partner which will result in a healthier relationship."

2. Decide what you're looking for
Strohbach offers the following tips for determining what you want from a relationship and what qualities you’re looking for in a partner:

• Based on your own experiences and observations of the relationships of others, determine what you don't want.
• Evaluate and be sure of your own life philosophy and values.
• Evaluate and be as sure as you can of the qualities in a person that you value and respect.

3. Find out whether he is right for you
Once you know what kind of man you want to commit to, choosing someone who is compatible with you becomes easier. Strohbach suggests the following ways to find out whether a man shares your relationship priorities:

• Develop effective communication around relationship expectations.
• Use the power of keen observation. Don't make excuses for your man: when he shows you who he is, believe him.  
• Give yourself enough time to get to know the person you are involved with. Don't make an impulsive decision.