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Love Notes: Solo sessions
| DATE: 11 July 2012 |
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| BY: Gillian Klawansky |
If you’re truly committed to work on your relationship and yourself, it may be worth trying something unorthodox: couples therapy for one.
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Finding happiness within yourself
Having a high self-esteem and finding happiness within yourself will help you to build a healthier relationship.
"When you are happy as a person, you take responsibility for your life and your happiness, you define things differently and you don’t always blame others for your unhappiness," explains counselling psychologist Nthabiseng Ramothwala. "You also acknowledge your contribution to the problem. You may have contributed only 10% to the problem, but that 10% may have made things worse. When you are happy with yourself you always do things because you want to and you are comfortable with the other person as they are. Your aim is never about changing your partner, but rather making him feel safe in the relationship so that you can be happy as a couple. The same principle applies to him."
Rediscover what makes you happy
Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to regain happiness. Life coach Kate Emmerson offers the following strategies:
- Imagine that a genie will give you anything you want any way you want it. Consider what you would wish for.
- Revisit childhood dreams to reignite energy and passion.
- Look to your natural strengths. When something is effortless, it can bring you deep joy.
- Knowing that you are where you’re supposed to be in life provides lasting happiness.
- Develop an attitude of grace and gratitude. Make a list of the things you are grateful for as this can help you put your life into perspective.
- Develop a greater sense of self-worth by acknowledging all your strengths.
To read the full version of this story go to page 130 of the August 2012 issue of DESTINY
