Should you ask him out?

Scared of making the first move? Here’s how to take charge!

If you’ve had your eye on a guy for some time but he just isn’t making the move, then maybe it’s time for you to take charge and move in on him first. Times have changed – gone are the days when women had to sit around and wait for the man to come to her. Go out there and get your guy!

Claire Strohbach, a clinical psychologist, weighs up the pros and cons of taking the plunge and asking a man out:

Pros

- You find out the truth
The sooner you ask him out, the sooner you can stop wondering whether or not he’s into you. “You won’t have to agonise over whether he is interested in you or not,” says Strohbach.

- You build confidence
Asking out the guy of your dreams takes a lot of guts. Once you’ve built up enough confidence to ask him out, no matter what the outcome, you’ll be in charge of your life from then on and you’ll find it easier to call the shots when it comes to decision-making. “This is a great way to become more self-assertive,” says Strohbach.

- You’ll know if you can have a relationship or not
You may have built up this idea of what it would be like to be with this guy and if you ask him out, you’ll know how feasible a relationship would be. “Asking him out is the first step to discovering whether a relationship is a possibility,” says Strohbach.

Cons

- You have to face the outcome
Prepare yourself for anything, because it may not be what you want to hear. “There’s always the possibility of rejection, so come prepared,” says Strohbach.

- He could find it a turn-off
“He may not like to be pursued – maybe he prefers to do the pursuing himself,” says Strohbach. Some men like doing all the hard work, so asking him out may actually be a turn-off for him.

- He might be a commitment-phobe
Maybe the reason he hasn’t asked you out is because he just isn’t ready for a commitment. “He may like you, but may not be ready to go out with you,” Strohbach says.