2009 dealt my family and I a huge blow; my mother passed away after a long illness. Yes it is true, the fact that we knew she was sick did not make it any better. The moment my dad said umama usi shiyile (mama has left us) also didn’t soften the blow because we had spent the better part of last year in and out of hospitals. I could see everyone crying but, man, the silence was deafening; it was so quiet you could hear a mouse wee on cotton wool.
One of the items I took from my mom’s belongings was the phone she was using because (a) as usual, my phone was either lost or broken, and (b) I cannot explain how comforting it was to hear the phone ring. I didn’t change the ring tone, although we (my sisters and I, come to think of it, even my dad) begged her for yonks to change it – it was plain annoying! – but now that same annoying tone is what brought me comfort.
A month after my mom passed away, the phone was stolen off the table during a dinner with close friends. I cried for two hours in my car that night and could not be comforted at all. The next day, I woke up and gave myself one hell of a talking to. See, if you had to ask my friends what I’m always stressing to them, they would roll their eyes and say that I am always preaching that you cannot rely on anything or anyone to make you happy, as material things can be taken away and people come and go. In life, no one was put on earth to keep you happy. It’s up to you. That night, I forgot my own lesson number one. I gave away control of my happiness to a phone. A PHONE!!!
Stupid right? Finding happiness with yourself is not easy. For many, it takes a lifetime. It`s tough, but after that night, I realised it’s tougher to get over the loss of the one thing that you based your happiness on when it’s taken away, so from now on, the smart money is really on me. I like the way this thing called life goes; constantly testing your greatest belief. So now that I have learnt the lesson I’ve been teaching, I am glad to say I like where I am now. It’s a happier place, the Anele place, I make me happy FULL STOP .
Oh, and before I forget, make sure you come through to Sandton City on 23 and 24 May, as we all celebrate our naturally glowing skin with Vaseline. DESTINY editor Khanyi Dhlomo will be there too – see, the deal just got better hey? But no hard feelings.