Surely I must be crazy for agreeing to a long distance relationship! The other week I twitted my personal tips for surviving a long distance relationship. The first tip was the most honest and relevant one; “Avoid long distance relationships if you can”. It may sound shocking and demotivating, but I am being as true as I can be. There are enough complications in any relationship seen as ‘normal’, must one really seek to complicate things by adding the drama of a border, a couple of hours travel and restricted meetings? Believe me it is not the most ideal of situations.

However if one fails to avoid these relationships and, as I have already, inevitably falls in love with someone who leaves in another country it becomes a different ball game altogether. One that I am not often sure I can maintain. It’s not just a personal phenomenon. Brandy’s song ‘Long Distance’ puts the woes to lyrics in an eloquent manner. I do run out of things to do to get my partner off my mind...

The lessons one learns from long distance relationships are profound. Firstly you realize that you really don’t have the time and space to sweat the small things. So if your man prefers to cuddle in public and you are conservative and would rather forego the PDA. Just let it be. It’s rather a comfort to know that he wants it to be known that you are intimate in any space. Another lesson is leaving each meeting on a high note. Although that increases the longing on every wait, you don’t have the luxury of time and casual meetings. So the little time that you have should be spent creating fond memories.

Let this time be both his and your time. I always fall into the trap of wanting to sight see and catch up with other friends from his country. Being such a busy body eats into our time and a blink later it’s time for me to head back home. Sometimes being fabulous with the girls needs to take a backseat. What is a priority is being in each other’s space and view. There is definitely no budgeting communication costs with a long distance relationship. Firstly one can not make use of special off peak calls and sms bundles because they are not relevant in his country so expect high costs. These are overshadowed by the sound of your love’s voice, so one can never lament too long over the costs. And he’s also incurring costs so it’s not just one sided. What should not be one sided too is your efforts to see each other. You both need to come to an agreement on who will do the traveling and take turns on this. You both want to have your own memories at each other’s places.

I don’t know if long distance is for me, there are definitely a lot of cons to it. But I choose not to make them my focus. For me there are many more pros in knowing this man so it does seem worth the effort. Right now I am taking it each day at a time and will definitely know on the flip side whether it worked or not.