Well I finally did it. I moved into a set of digs that had just one bedroom and no space for sharing or living with a housemate. It’s a weird space to be in, not entirely foreign because I have been living independently from home for seven years now. However, previously I enjoyed the comfort of co-existing with a friend or a sibling. Now every time I come home from work, I no longer anticipate conversations on how the day went. I no longer look for a misplaced item or dirty dishes because I’ll find my place the same way I left it. There’s no one to blame for finishing all the juice and leaving an empty cartoon in the fridge. There is just me. I woke up on my first Sunday, early and with no plans. The refuge and relaxation I had been looking forward to, for months, suddenly became a looming and quite frightening presence. I couldn’t clean my place, I had done that already and seeing I am not obsessive and compulsive I had no excuse to do it again. Suddenly I seeked contact, conversations and shared experiences. So off to the mall I went – how conformist! Had breakfast and coffee while reading my Sunday papers. That didn’t constitute for the quality conversation that I wanted, but I was comforted by having people around me and knowing that I can say something to some one if I needed to, even if it was just to get another coffee. That followed with a bit of retail therapy and some mall orientation. Later I went to grab something to have for dinner, convenience food and glaringly ’dinner for one’. In an attempt at small talk, the guy ringing my purchases asked if I was going to be eating alone. That caught me unaware and left me embarrassed. So I lied, even though it didn’t matter and this guy didn’t matter, it was more important to me to pretend that my situation wasn’t what it is currently. Wow, I felt like one of those lonely souls in chick lit that surround themselves with dozens of cats and have conversations with their plants. I’ve been considering having plants in my bathroom and I do hope that is not a sure sign heading towards eternal loneliness and spinster-dom. But I have chosen to live alone and to enjoy this experience and share memories with my friends in this space. It’s actually quite ok to set out on your own. Every one that I had been lamenting to have told me it’s just a matter of getting used to it. At least I won’t be negotiating music selections nor have to bear bad cooking. This will definitely be good!