Weekly I listen to my friends talk about their strange relationships or lack there off (I am not exempt to this one either).

We finally had a eureka moment, we probably should have had it a long time ago – but better late than never! Well we actually figured out a few things with the help of a few male friends, deep thought and common sense J

Apparently we aren’t exactly a man’s definition of the perfect women, not only do we speak our minds whenever we feel the need to, but we are too direct, and too independent mmmm. My question at this point is what is too independent? – I go to work just like you, pay rent and live an ordinary life – paying bills like everyone is supposed to, I am quite pedantic about it. But isn’t everyone supposed to be?

As women living away from their parents or family we have to be able to manage our lives without it falling to pieces, and not only that – as individuals living in the Diaspora, we don’t have the luxury of driving a few kilometers to mum and dad. That trip will cost a couple thousand Rands and a whole lot of time.

When it comes to us speaking our minds – well, I think that’s because anyone shouldn’t have to agree to everything another person says, and if a situation is not working for you, I don’t believe in the grin and bear tactic. I am probably guilty of having been a little more than aggravated and having opened my big mouth and made it clear to the want- to be- boyfriend at the time that he really wasn’t cutting it. And later having regretted my strategy.

Though in our own defense, I do believe that a man is a man, if he is able to stand up to an “independent” woman, and make her see sense. I mean it’s pointless to be with someone who ten years down the line still quakes and shivers at the mere site of you – sorry men but I have seen it happen many a time. “Independent women do need strong men; that’s a fact. We see no sense in working hard and making decisions at work, and coming home and staying in work mode, especially when there is a man in the picture. We all agreed that this has nothing to do with financial status or anything of a material nature; but has a lot to do with character and stamina, and the rest of the qualities women admire in their male counterparts!

Needless to say I have seen my friends constantly try to turn themselves into demure women, but that only lasted about a day at most, in an effort to appear more “feminine”, to their prospective partners; I have been there done that and it didn’t work, it wasn’t long before the stubborn and outspoken me reared her head. Looking back it provides us with many a laugh, but maybe we do need to change gear?

I wonder if any of you have had the same issue to deal with – I do know I would love to get more men’s perspective on this; do men fear women who hold their own in society?