Despite increasing sexual awareness, numerous, easily accessible forms of contraception and the rise of feminism, women are still not as sexually free as men. Often we, as women, believe our femininity should be expressed by nurturing and putting our husbands first. But there’s so much more to explore.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being open about sex, confident in the bedroom and focusing on your own sexual pleasure.
Seduction expert Mandisa O Mahlobo believes that a sexually liberated woman is a courageous one. “She has no problem initiating sexual activity in her relationship and is as concerned about her own pleasure as she is about her partner’s,” she says.
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The issue, however, is that more often than not, women’s bodies and sexuality is constantly policed. Mahlobo explains that society’s full of hypocrites who don’t know whether they want women to be liberated or not.
A woman’s morals are often judged by the length of her skirt, how many sexual partners she’s had and how sexually free she is. “It’s almost impossible to be sexually empowered without being labelled as something nasty or being ruled out as ‘wifey’ material,” she says.
Well, ladies, here’s the truth: It’s okay to be sexually liberated.
A woman who’s sexually empowered and expresses herself freely isn’t less of a woman. Sometimes you should just enjoy sex for what it is.
“Women feel shy to be sexually free because society labels them,” says Mahlobo. “If you’re too knowledgeable about sexual matters, you’re seen as a slut. It means your past is ‘colourful’. Meanwhile, a man with the same sexual experience is seen as a stud, a hero.”
Despite the judgement, women are slowly stepping into the light as far as their sexual liberation is concerned.
Social media has provided a platform for women to talk freely about sex, publicly or in private groups. “The more women talk, the more the shy ones are liberated. Sexual prudery is no longer the deciding factor in the question of whether or not a woman will be a wife,”says Mahlobo.
She points out that today’s women have decided to defy societal expectations. “Society expects women to be prim and proper and if you’re a sexually free woman, you’re seen as crooked,” she says, adding that many marriages have collapsed because of prudish wives.