- One spouse has an affair they refuse to end
While it’s possible to repair the marriage after infidelity, if the perpetrator refuses to cut ties with a lover, it can be detrimental to the relationship. Cheating will in doubt affect the marriage, but when the affair doesn’t end, it’s a clear indication that the person who cheated doesn’t care enough for your feelings to end things. It’s also lack of respect which will kill the marriage.
- You believe you married the wrong person
It’s normal for the flame to wear down if you’ve been married for a very long time, but once you start imagining a life without your partner or start believing they aren’t the one for you, your marriage may be approaching an end.
- Living separate lives
When couples start noticing they’re living separate lives, don’t have much in common anymore, or aren’t doing much together, they need to take a step back and have an honest conversation with each other.
- Dividing everything into “his” and “hers”
This may also contribute to the end of a marriage. Church Leaders reports that when couples have separate bank accounts, separate hobbies, separate friends and separate dreams, they run the risk of creating completely separate lives. “Marriage is about combining; divorce is about dividing. The more you can share together, the stronger your marriage will be,” the site reports.
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- Tearing each other apart with criticism
One of the biggest contributors to marriages dying is spouses constantly criticising each other, reports Good Men Project. Couples should encourage and build each other and focus on the positive to avoid entering a downward spiral that often leads to divorce.
In addition, if your partner is always judging you, you may feel like you aren’t good enough, which affects your self-esteem.
According to Family Life, selfishness is possibly the most dangerous threat to unity in marriage, as it can affect how couples talk to each other, spend time together, resolve conflict and divide responsibilities.
Quinsee says if the selfish partner does not want to change, the couple run the risk of the relationship staying in a toxic, negative spiral and eventually ending.
- Planning an exit strategy
Church Leaders reports that healthy couples remove the word “divorce” from their vocabulary. “When we threaten divorce or when we silently start fantasising about life with someone new, we’re ripping apart the foundation of the marriage,” the site reports.