In 2017, Actress Tracee Ellis Ross gave rousing speech at the Glamour Women of the Year Summit.
My life is mine, she said. Her words summed up a realisation she had had after years of trying to live her life conforming to other people’s expectations. Ross spoke in depth about the expectations she had previously been living up to.
At 45 years old Ross was unmarried and had no children of her own, things that women are still expected to do. When she came to the realisation that she had been living a life that was not alighned to her expectation, she cried “That brought tears to my eyes because, yes I’ve been living my life – but not on my own expectations. Not for me,” she added.
It is important for women to liberate themselves societal expectations. Breaking free from the should’s of life has the potential to open a fuller life.
There are several reasons people feel they don’t have control over their lives.
If you would like to take charge of your life you want to surround yourself with people who affirm your beliefs and encourage you to live an authentic life.
Life Coach Thuthukile Rakharebe emphasizes that it is important to see who and what you surround yourself with.
“The first thing I would say is clean your circle, clean your environment and clean the feeders into
that,” she says.
Thuthukile adds that it is important to ensure that the media that you consume does not give you a fear of missing out. By watching what
other people are doing you are more likely to feel as though you are not enough.
“If before you start your day you are already on Instagram and your feed is about who is buying
which shoe, which bag and who is living where… by the time you start your day, you feel like you are
ten steps behind,” Thuthukile explains.
Finally, it is important to have a clear vision of what you want to achieve. If you are not clear about
what it is that you are looking for, it becomes very easy to be swayed to another direction that isn’t
“It is because we are not clear about where we want to be that we will attract anything, even the
things that hold us back,” Thuthukile says.
Ultimately, we are in charge of what we want to do with this beautiful gift of life, and in the words of
Iva Ursano “You are the artist of your life. Don’t give the paintbrush to someone else.”