While there are more potential partners to me met online, the quality of the relationships can be unsatisfying. Hook-up culture means that people are less empathetic to the needs of others. The lack of intimacy and stability is due to the availability of something new, according to the New Statesman. If you feel online dating is increasing your loneliness, you are not alone.
Globally, there are an estimated 57 million users on Tinder and 12 million users on Bumble according to Tech Jury. These numbers only represent two major online dating platforms. By the looks of things, there is no shortage of people looking for a meaningful connection. However, more people are becoming disillusioned with the idea of finding love online.
In real life, there are social norms that most people follow when interacting with one another. Anonymity on the internet has made people less likely to follow traditional norms of politeness. While your self-esteem can be boosted by the number of people who like your carefully curated
pictures, the opposite can happen when you get continuously passed over. The feeling can intensify when you get ghosted.
Dating burnout is prevalent enough for Bumble to offer advice on its app on how to deal with it.
“Dating is only one part of life, alongside friends, family work, hobbies, selfcare and fun. It’s healthy to focus on these things too if you are ever feeling burnt out,” it advises its users.
READ MORE: Surviving Burnout
Banz Mthembu* has downloaded Tinder three times and attributes her positive experience to having strict rules of engagement.
“I made a rule for myself that I will only entertain two gentlemen at a time. Whether I am talking to them on the platform or have given them my number to chat on WhatsApp. That is just so I don’t confuse myself or overwhelmed myself because I have found that the other times, I have been
overwhelmed with talking to too many people,” she explains.
Being intentional about what you want instead of swiping for a dopamine hit has also improved Mthembu’s experience.
“People I am entertaining are more aligned with what I want. We are looking for relationships not just hookups,” she says.
*Not her real name